Today we’re going to discuss how to become a better spouse. During this lecture we will discuss some common questions that have been brought up over the years and some important words that we all know. Words like, communication, patience, humility, sacrifice, understanding, and empathy. We hear these words, we read about them, but do we apply them to our lives? Do we sacrifice, are we patient? There are many things we can work on in order to have a good relationship with our spouse and we’re going to talk about some of them today.
When we enter into this path, we often wonder “where do I begin?” Well, our great teacher, the Aquarian Avatar Samael Aun Weor stated,
“The path begins at home, at the house; if you can’t handle your home, you’re no good on the path.” – Samael Aun Weor, Lecture
We may want the path to begin somewhere else, but it really begins at home.
If you’ve read “The Perfect Matrimony,” by Samael Aun Weor, you have an idea of how special marriage is or could be. Most of us, before we found the teachings of Samael, may have looked at marriage in a superficial way. How we were raised and what society taught us played a significant role with how we viewed marriage. We all experienced different things growing up. Some of us had parents who were married and some divorced. Some of our parents argued a lot and some didn’t. All our experiences, whatever they may have been, influenced our view, our beliefs, with what marriage should be. But that’s beginning to change now; now that we have “The Perfect Matrimony.” If we are already married, after having read the perfect matrimony, we may feel that something is missing from the relationship; we may begin to see that our relationship is not what it should be or could be, and this can bring about many difficulties. We may begin to long for a marriage that we don’t have, we may talk to our spouse about what we’ve learned and they may reject it and we may begin to take our marriage for granted. Whatever our situation is, whatever we’re going through, may get better if we learn to live by some of these words that we’re going to discuss.
Our first word is Sacrifice.
Sacrifice is one of the three factors. Sacrifice is an action, it is to give up self-interest in order to benefit others; it is to serve, to be of service to others. Sacrifice is a big part of our way of life. When we read about sacrifice in any of Samael’s books, we learn that we’re going to “sacrifice for humanity,” and we think, “one day I’m going to have to do that, but not right now, maybe later.” This is because sacrifice doesn’t come easy for most of us. Most of the time, we are looking out for our own self-interests and we don’t comprehend that sacrifice is part of our daily lives. For instance: When we first discover the teachings of Samael Aun Weor we may study a lot, especially if we really like them, and we study so much that we end up neglecting other important parts of our lives, such as our spouse, and naturally resentments may occur. We may really want to study but our wife or husband wants our attention. So, what do we do? We become aware of what we’re doing; are we spending too much time studying, are we not balancing what we do from day to day? It’s beneficial for us to meditate on how we can make the most of our day. It will help to reflect! We can reflect on ways of sacrificing some of what we want to do. We find ways of balancing our needs with the needs of others. Really, we should want to make time for our spouse, if we don’t, we should try to understand why. It’s common for people who are married before finding these teachings to not both be interested in them. It’s common for one person to be totally invested in them and the other not to be. If you’re presently in this situation, you’re not alone. If our spouse is not interested in the teachings, we may begin to resent them, and take our marriage for granted; arguments may erupt, especially if one person is trying to change and the other person is not. We may even try to persuade our spouse to see things our way; trying to get them to understand that the Gnostic path is the way, and our old way is wrong. These are common occurrences, and if this is happening, we need to remember that our spouse has their own free will. If they want nothing to do with it, we need to find a way to respect that and this will be a sacrifice; it will be a sacrifice of our own self-will, our own self-interests. We may think we know better, we may think we have the answers, but if our spouse rejects what we have to say, then we need to respect that. It’s good for us to back off, because no one likes to be forced into doing things, and anytime we try to manipulate the free will of others, we are performing black magic.
Samael Aun Weor stated:
“Each is his own. It is absurd to want to dominate others. When will people learn to respect the free will of others? It is regrettable for people to not understand the necessity of respecting the free will of others. There always exists the ominous tendency of dominating others, to want to impose our ideas onto our neighbors by force, to try to force others to do whatever our own whim wants them to do. To use forces of the mind in order to subjugate others, in order to enslave them, in order to force them, is violence, and any violent act is black magic. All of this is severely punished with tears, misery, and supreme pain.” - Beyond Death, The Law of Free Will
This can happen with anyone, not only our spouse, but with anyone. We may disagree with someone and try to force them to see things our way, and we let them know how wrong they are, that they’re not doing something how we think they should be, and thus we argue, and have serious disagreements which cause pain and suffering. Naturally, it’s inevitable that we experience disagreements with our spouse, differences of opinions, differences with how we should do things, but this doesn’t mean that we should force them into submission. For example: Master Samael teaches that it’s good to perform sexual magic in the early morning. Our bodies revitalize while we sleep, but, what if our spouse doesn’t want to be sexual during that time? What if that doesn’t work for them? Our sexual energy may be at its peak at that time, but maybe not for them. So what do we do? Do we get upset and throw a fit? Do we try to get them to do what we want? If we try to force our spouse to do something they don’t want to do, what is that? Selfishness right? What would be the right thing to do?
And this brings us to our next word, empathy.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another; we try to understand someone else’s situation, we put ourselves in their shoes. We don’t have a complete understanding if we only see things from our point of view. It really helps our relationship if we understand our partners feelings. So, back to the example of our partner not being in the mood for sexual magic. If we really want that and our partner doesn’t, then, instead of being selfish and throwing and egotistical fit, we empathize, we come to understand that they’re tired and in of need rest. If we truly love them, we will have understanding for their needs, we let them rest, and what else do we need in order to be empathetic? Patience.
Patience is the ability to wait, to suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed, and we will need patience in order to be empathetic. If we are not patient we will cause suffering. When our partner is not in the mood for sexual magic we remain patient and come to understand that this is not a good time to transmute with our spouse, but, we have a lot of energy and that energy is very powerful, so what do we do? We can utilize breathing exercises, pranayama, in order to transmute our sexual energy. We can get out of bed and go for a walk, exercise, listen to some classical music. Many of us get attached to sexual magic and when our partner is not in the mood for it we get frustrated. Many of us think that sexual magic is the most important thing in the world; we read about awakening the kundalini, the solar bodies, initiations, powers, mastery, and we think, “I want that, how great that would be.” “I sure would like to have those solar bodies, and powers, and being a master would be great too, then I could help people and save the world.” “Then I would be loved and respected.” These types of thoughts, as good as they may seem are rooted in desire. Many of these types of thoughts and feelings are egotistical.
Master Samael stated:
“The Bodhisattva Jesus did not covet initiations, powers, titles, degrees, hierarchies, masteries, social or divine positions, kingdoms, gold or silver. Being higher than all Angels, Archangels, Seraphim, Potencies, etc., he only preferred to be a good man. Therefore, instead of coveting degrees, powers, initiations and divine lordships, we must exert the effort of becoming useful beings to this suffering humanity.” – The Major Mysteries
If we are married, usefulness, begins with our spouse. We are no good for anyone if we cannot “handle our home.” Sexual magic is important, it is very important to transmute our sexual energy, but this doesn’t mean we need sexual magic all the time. Once per day is what is advised, but that depends on you and your spouse. If we are not careful, if we are not mindful of the way we feel and think about sexual magic, we can end up creating a lot of desire. Desire is one of the causes of suffering. Our desires when not fulfilled can become resentment, frustration, anger, and much more. Desire is the opposite of love. Where there is desire, there is no love.
We find in the book “The Perfect Matrimony,” something very important that pertains to what we’re stating here.
“Lovers often confuse desire with love. Beware of the illusion of desire. Remember that the flame of desire consumes life. Contemplate the eyes of the being you love; lose yourself in the joy of his or her eyes, but if you want to be happy, don’t let yourself get carried away by desire. Love and desire are absolute opposites. Kill not only desire, but moreover, the shadow itself of the tempting tree of desire. Whosoever is truly in love is willing to shed even his or her last drop of blood for their beloved. Examine yourself before you get married. Do you feel capable of shedding even your last drop of blood for the being you adore? Would you be capable of giving your life so that your beloved could live? Reflect and meditate.” - The Perfect Matrimony
There have been many questions and comments that relate to feeling frustrated with not performing sexual magic enough. It’s mostly men that have this issue but there are women who do as well. There could be many different reasons for the frustration one feels. Our frustration in most cases is rooted in desire. The first thing we should do when we feel frustrated is become aware of ourselves, we should observe ourselves, introspect; what is going on with me? Why do I feel this way? Reflect and meditate.
Another common issue for married couples is that one person finds the teachings, falls in love with them, but the other person wants nothing to do with them. One person wants to change, but the other person doesn’t. If you’re experiencing this type of situation, you may have asked yourself, “how is this going to work, how do I do this work when my spouse is not?” The answer is different for everyone, but it can be done and has been done. It’s not easy, but what is? We can help ourselves by remaining concerned with what we need to work on. Stay focused on your own ethical discipline. Try not to focus on all the things you think your spouse needs to work on, but if you do, try not to point them out all the time. If our spouse doesn’t want to work on themselves the same way we are, that’s ok, and we need to respect that. If you find yourself becoming frustrated, learn to talk things out and this brings us to our next word, Communication.
Communication is to exchange information. Communication is very important for any type of relationship; friends, family, and especially our spouse, but back to what we were discussing. If our spouse isn’t walking the same path, we may experience some difficulties. Some of us may have knowledge of this already. It can be difficult in the beginning for both people and may be difficult for some time. But, we can help our situation become less difficult if we do our best to be empathetic; understanding our spouses point of view is beneficial. It’s good for us to comprehend that it’s not easy for our spouse either. We may feel that we have found the best way of doing things but our spouse may not agree and may get upset. If our spouse gets upset, what do we do? Do we get upset, do we let ourselves get frustrated? If our spouse gets angry, should we get angry too? Should we go to battle with the one we love? What should we do? When our spouse gets upset with us, be still like an oak tree, observe yourself, remain patient, and when the storm of emotions has settled, we can communicate; choosing our words wisely. Communication doesn’t work well when someone has lost control of themselves. Self-observation will help us with having awareness of our three brains. We can remain vigilant even when someone is expressing frustration and anger at us. In the heat of the moment we may think our spouses resistance to the teachings is in the way of our spiritual life, but, when we sit to meditate we will find that it’s our own psychological defects that are our obstacles and whether we like it or not our spouse is helping us discover them.
Master Samael stated,
“How would you discover yourself, if you don’t have a “gymnasium”? The most difficult gyms are useful for the self-discovery of oneself, because I repeat: in those “gyms” the hidden defects spontaneously emerge, and if we are alert and vigilant, like the sentinel in times of war, then we see them. How nice it is when one discovers that one has the “I” of self-love, and that another person hurt him! Then you can turn it to dust. How nice it is to know that one has anger or pride, when the spouse has hurt us! Because then one can easily work on the demon of anger and pride. So, the psychological gym at home is extraordinary, and the one who wants to get a divorce because the gym is tough is like a careless child who doesn’t want to go to school, and gets sent off to school and runs somewhere else.” – Clarifying women’s issues, Samael Aun Weor
A common misconception that some people have is, “now that I’m on the right path things are going to get easier.” We fantasize about the path being all rainbow’s and roses, but sooner or later, we realize that it’s not easy; it’s not easy to face ourselves and see our defects. It’s not simple for us to remain alert and vigilant while our spouse is upset with us, but it can be accomplished. Learn to be thankful when someone helps you discover a defect. Finding a way to make the most of difficult moments is part of the path. Most couples that I’ve spoken with do not want to do this, they’d rather divorce then try to work together; they’d rather give up because they want their relationships to be easy. Just because we don’t see eye to eye doesn’t mean we should leave one another. We should take our marriage seriously, and not give up so easily; marriage is sacred. There are many things we can do in order to keep disagreements from blowing up and learning to communicate better is one of them. How many times could we have saved an argument if we only would have communicated about something earlier. We tend to store things up, we bottle up and hold on to things that bother us. We rarely communicate or let things go. Why do we do that? If we meditate on why our relationship is lacking communication, we may find that it’s because of fear, pride, selfishness, etc., and all of these cause suffering. If we learn to communicate better and stop holding things in, we may save ourselves and our spouse from a lot of suffering. If we comprehend and eliminate the egos associated with our lack of communication we will become a better spouse. How much better would our relationships be if we had the ability to calmly talk about things before an argument erupted. It’s important that we know how to express ourselves in a way that is helpful and beneficial for others, and that brings us to our next word, humility.
Humility is to have a modest view of one’s own importance; the act of being selfless, to live in loving awareness of others and to put the “myself” in its proper place. Humility helps us with sacrificing for others. Humility helps us with empathy, patience, and communication. If we have the ego alive within us, disagreements and frustrating moments with our spouse are inevitable, but adversity gives us an opportunity; an opportunity for self-discovery, and an opportunity to sacrifice our egotistical-will. If we lack humility, our ordeals will be very challenging. If we do not humble ourselves when trying to understand our spouses feelings, our pride may step in and get in the way. Pride blinds us and keeps us from understanding, from truth. We make mistakes when we choose not to humble ourselves. For instance: If we are new to these teachings, we will most likely want to talk about them, and if we’re married our wife or husband may not want to hear about them. If we try discussing something with them and they tell us, “I don’t want to talk about that, I don’t want to hear about that stuff.” What do we do? Do we get upset? Do we take it personally? It’s normal for us to feel a deep longing to connect spiritually with our spouse, but if our spouse is not interested in hearing about the teachings we should do our best not to react negatively. Usually we say something that we end up regretting. We need to remember that sometimes it’s a crime to speak. It’s best to remain silent instead of saying something right away that we end up regretting. It’s best to observe ourselves and not react, because this type of situation relates to what Samael calls the psychological gymnasium. When our spouse tells us, “no thank you, I don’t want to hear about that stuff,” be humble, accept it, remember your Innermost and observe yourself, pray if you need to, go somewhere else for a moment, take a breath, transform your negative thoughts. Comprehend that its ok if your spouse doesn’t want to hear about it, and remain calm; understanding arrives when our minds are serene. When we are calm we are capable of empathizing with our spouse. Later we can communicate with them about how we feel and let them communicate with us with how they feel, that way, we gain more understanding of why our spouse doesn’t want to hear about something that we wanted to share with them. The fact is, the teachings of Samael Aun Weor can devastate someone; it can be devastating to have your beliefs challenged, it can be devastating to find out that everything you thought you knew about ethics, religion, spirituality, turns out to be false. It can be devastating to be with someone who is changing almost everything about their life. Change in a marriage affects both people and that can be very difficult. Truly, sacrifices will be made by both people. If our spouse is not wanting to change, it may become difficult for them to be with someone who is, and this is one of many reasons why the person who is changing their life needs to understand things from the other persons point of view., even if we feel it’s mistaken. Remember, we don’t know everything and it’s important that we remind ourselves of that. If our spouse rejects the teachings, doesn’t want to hear about them, then we should respect their freewill. We may think we know better, we may see the causes of their suffering, and we may think we know just how to help them, but remember sometimes what we say or do may cause more harm than good. I’ve worked with many people who complain about their husband or wife. The most common questions are, “my spouse is freaking out about the teachings, what do I do?” “Should I get a divorce?” “How do I do this work with someone who is not?” One of the couple usually thinks they are sacrificing more than the other, or, one imagines being with someone else and thinks it will be easier if they found a Gnostic spouse. The truth is, there are couples who are both Gnostic and still have a very difficult time. There are many gnostic couples that didn’t work out. We tend to believe that the grass is always greener on the other side.
If we love our spouse, we can find a way. It will take a lot of humility, patience and empathy in order to make it. It will take a lot of work, a lot of necessary work that will help us become a better person. When we become less selfish, less prideful, we will begin to perceive our spouse differently and come to truly appreciate them. When we feel like things are too difficult, “I don’t know if I can do it,” remember the law of impermanence. Things are always changing, we won’t feel this way forever, this too shall pass, and if we continue to communicate, remain patient, humble, and empathetic, maybe one day our spouse will become interested in the teachings; we don’t know the future, maybe they will and maybe they won’t.
This verse from 1 Corinthians 7 is helpful to meditate on when one feels like giving up on their marriage.
“For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? Or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?”
Truly we don’t know and we shouldn’t give up on our spouse just because he or she is not what we want them to be, or doing what we want them to do. We also shouldn’t try to force them to see things our way. We don’t save anyone by dominating their minds. If we study our history, we find that most people eventually rebel when being dominated or forced into submission. Everyone has their own free-will and we should learn to respect that. We cannot walk the path for others, but we can walk it with them. If we are truly working on ourselves, then, we are finding ways to alleviate suffering, not only for ourselves but for our spouse too. That being said, it’s good for us to understand that suffering is part of life, the first noble truth teaches us that “life has inevitable suffering.” The second noble truth teaches us that “there is a cause to our suffering.” Meditating on how we cause suffering will help our relationships. If we comprehend the causes we can refine the way we do things. But, if we give up, and abandon our spouse, because they won’t do what we want them to do, because of disagreements, doesn’t mean we’re going to avoid suffering; this doesn’t mean things will improve. It is better to observe and become aware of why we disagree, why there’s so much suffering, then to run away and give up., but, this takes patience, humility, and discipline. Imagine how much better your life would be if you stopped running from difficulties, and learned to face them with humility. It takes humility to stop taking our partner for granted. Something that will help us with humility, is to see them as one of our greatest teachers; to perceive our life partner as the one who’s going to help us know ourselves better. What a gift that is. We should learn to see them as a gift and not a burden.
It’s good for us to understand that it’s not going to be easy, nothing about the Great Work is easy, it takes work to become a good person, to become a good spouse, it takes work to change and if we feel negatively about our spouse we should take a look at that. Most of the time it’s our ethics that are lacking; we’re identified with some form of selfishness, some desire.
If we’re studying the teachings, but still treating others poorly, then we need to work on our ethical discipline. When studying spirituality, we learn that there are ethics that we need to live by. All ethics are rooted in love. Love for our neighbor, love for God, and All. We need ethics if we aspire to become a good spouse, to become a good person; our thoughts, and actions should reflect ethical discipline. If we are lacking empathy and patience, then we need to go back to ethics and refine how we think, feel and act. In this tradition, we teach from many doctrines, and at the very foundation of what we study are ethics. Every tradition has ethics, rights and wrongs, what to do and not do. The Buddha Shakyamuni taught and lived by many. The Buddha was a great Gnostic because he aspired to know, to know the causes of suffering, and he found that desire was at its root. Many marriages end because of desire. When our desires are not fulfilled arguments erupt; when our desires are not met we through fits, and cause suffering. The effects of desire can be catastrophic. If we allow our marriages to end because of desire, the effects can be very harmful for everyone involved.
If you find yourself desiring to leave your spouse, take some time to retrospect your relationship. Retrospection is to review past events or situations; it is to review one’s own life. When we retrospect our relationship, we may discover that we haven’t sacrificed very much, we may find that we are selfish, we may find that we are stubborn, hard headed, and difficult to work with. When we retrospect from day to day, we may find that we were not very empathetic, patient, and humble. So, how do we change? How do we learn to communicate better? In the beginning it’s difficult, it’s difficult to change our behaviors, it’s challenging to remain self-aware, it’s difficult to set a side our self-interests, and this is why retrospection meditation is a good place for us to start. Retrospection will help us discover what we need to work on, what we need to change. Retrospection will help with recalling times when we could have been humble but were prideful, when we could have been patient but instead were impatient, when we could have sacrificed what we wanted but instead we were selfish, when we could have communicated better and when we could have tried to understand someone else’s feelings but chose to ignore them. Become aware of your lack of patience throughout the day. Every time you feel impatient, observe it, “why am I impatient?” “Do I really need to be in a hurry, what has my impatience done for me lately?” Same with communication, what happens when you don’t communicate with your spouse, and what happens when you do communicate? Study yourself, reflect and meditate. If we are capable of patience, empathy and humility, when faced with great adversity, we will keep from causing harm. But in order to truly have these virtues, we need our Divine Mother, we need her to help us eliminate their opposites, and this brings us to our final word, Chastity.
Chastity is sexual purity. True chastity is pure sexuality without lust. Lust is the opposite of chastity and is sexual impurity, sexual desire; a psychological craving for sexual pleasure, and the basis of why we suffer. Lust is psychological poison, for us and our relationships, but chastity helps heal them. We talk about chastity a lot and that’s because our sexual energy is precious and fundamental for our spiritual life. Chastity is the most important word that we will discuss today, because without it we cannot become virtuous people. Without chastity we cannot create spiritual life. In order to be capable of any of what we’re discussing today we need to be chaste. Chastity is at the core of all ethical discipline. If we are not chaste, and if we are not transmuting our sexual energy, our Divine Mother cannot eliminate egos and thus virtues are not born within us. Chastity and our Divine Mother are fundamental for our relationships and spiritual development. If we are wasting our sexual energy through the physical orgasm, or with lustful thoughts we will not have any sexual power. We need our sexual energy in order to think clearly, to be intuitive, and to meditate properly. Some of us may think we are chaste and it may be true physically, but if we still have lustful thoughts and feelings we are not fully chaste in our hearts and minds. Lust injures our Divine Mother and we need our Divine Mother, we need her help, we cannot do this work without her. She also needs our help and the best way we can help her is to become chaste. Having a good relationship with our Divine Mother helps us have a better relationship with our spouse and a better relationship with anyone for that matter. She is the force of love within us. She is the missing link to any relationship and the further we are from our Divine Mother, the further we are from love.
Samael Aun Weor stated,
“To love, how beautiful it is to love. Love is infinite tenderness. Love cannot be defined because it is the Divine Mother of the world; it is that which comes to us when we really fall in love. Love is terribly divine. The blessed Goddess Mother of the world is what we call love.”
We need our Divine Mother in order to produce significant change. If she’s missing, if love is missing, what will we accomplish? Especially during sexual magic and this reminds me of an experience that I had. I’m going to share my experience with you in the hopes of helping all of you understand what I’m stating here. I found myself sitting in a class room behind a desk, on top of the desk was a piece of paper and a teacher came forward and handed me a protractor. The teacher told me to “draw a circle with a line straight down the middle of the circle.” I recalled that a circle with a line down the middle “divides the circle into two,” which represents the two sexes. So, I knew what I was being told to draw, but when trying to draw the circle and line, the paper ripped, and in that moment the teacher was aware of what was happening and began to scold me, and told me, “try again,” and again the paper ripped. I looked very carefully at what I was doing, I found that the paper was very delicate, almost like wax paper or parchment paper, and I tried again, much more delicately, but it ripped. He told me “again,” and I tried again, and again, and I could not do it, it kept ripping. I was confused and a little sad because no matter what I did, the paper would rip. After trying over, and over again, I felt someone’s presence as they sat beside me, and I looked to see who it was, and it was my Divine Mother. When she sat beside me, I intuitively knew what was missing, it was her, my Divine Mother, love. If you take the line out of the circle it becomes the mantra of the Divine Mother, IO, or the number 10. She was letting me know, “you cannot do this without me, I’m missing, you are forgetting me.” The paper kept ripping because I was forgetting her. When we are sexual with our spouse, we must be chaste. If lust is involved during the sexual act, no matter how subtle it may be, we are forgetting our Divine Mother and we leave her out of the Arcanum A.Z.F. We need chastity and our Divine Mother in order to be successful with sexual magic and to become the best spouse we can be. We need her to eliminate our lust so that we can become loving, pure and chaste. Lust causes so much suffering in relationships, many don’t understand that; many couples wonder why they have so many issues, and the lack of love and chastity are some of the most profound ones. Most relationships do not have love, and we can change that with the help of our Divine Mother. If you want to become a better person, study spiritual ethics, discover what you’re lacking ethically, build a relationship with your Divine Mother, communicate with her, remember her, meditate and comprehend your psychological vices and errors, so that you can become a more virtuous person; loving, patient, empathetic and chaste. Little by little, your relationships will get better. This is how we can become a better spouse, and a better person.
Samael stated:
“Virtues are not to be underestimated. They are precious gems. They bloom in us as the psychic aggregates are eliminated. If we have eliminated lust, in its place comes the virtue of chastity. If we eliminate psychological defects, virtues will arise and take their place. As we eliminate every psychic aggregate, in their replacement, a virtue, a power, a law, etc., will crystalize in us. We must all know that the maximum power of the Divine Cosmic Mother is fire. She in herself is fire. Thus, by means of fire we can destroy the psychological aggregates. The Kundalini can only be developed through purity and love. We kill the Divine Mother like a scorpion when we spill the glass of Hermes. The death of the ego is impossible without the Divine Mother. Be humble in order to obtain wisdom. Once we have obtained wisdom, we must strive for even higher degrees of humility. One needs to know how to understand. One needs to know how to suffer, to be submissive. Those who are not are the ones that fail. It is better to love a good spouse with whom one can practice sexual magic, rather than wasting time with theories and intellectualism.” – Samael Aun Weor
Further your education by studying the following lectures and books:
This lecture is very helpful and I highly recommend studying it.
This lecture helps with much more than just masturbation, it helps us understand many ways that we abuse the sexual energy. It also gives remedies for erectile disfunction.
This lecture helps us understand how serious lust is. Master Samael Aun Weor discusses how he suffered from lust and what it took for him to eliminate it.
Books:
1 Corinthians - chapter 7 and 13
Chapter 16 Divine Traits and Demonic Traits - Bhagavad Gita 2
The Blessed Lord Said:“Fearlessness, purity of heart, persistence in the yoga of knowledge, generosity, self-control, nonviolence, gentleness, candor, integrity, disengagement, joy in the study of the scriptures, compassion for all beings, modesty, patience, a tranquil mind, dignity, kindness, courage, a benevolent, loving heart – these are the qualities of men born with divine traits, Arjuna. Hypocrisy, insolence, anger, cruelty, ignorance, conceit – these, Arjuna, are the qualities of men with demonic traits. The divine traits lead to freedom; the demonic, to suffering and bondage. But do not be concerned, Arjuna: the traits you have are divine. The demonic and the divine are the two kinds of men in this world. The divine I have told you about; now learn about the demonic. Demonic men do not realize what should and what should not be done; there is no purity of heart, no virtue, no truth inside them. They say that life is an accident caused by sexual desire, that the universe has no moral order, no truth, no God. Clinging to this stupid belief, drawn into cruelty and malice, they become lost souls and, at last, enemies of the whole world. Driven by insatiable lusts, drunk on arrogance of power, hypocritical, deluded, their actions foul with self-seeking, tormented by a vast anxiety that continues until their death, convinced that the gratification of desire is life’s sole aim, bound by a hundred shackles of hope, enslaved by their greed, they squander their time dishonestly piling up mountains of wealth. “Today I got this desire, and tomorrow I will get that one; all these riches are mine, and soon I will have even more. Already I have killed these enemies, and soon I will kill the rest; I am lord, the enjoyer, successful, happy, and strong, noble and rich, and famous. Who on earth is my equal? I will worship, give alms, and rejoice.” Thus think these ignorant fools. Bewildered by endless thinking, entangled in the net of delusion, addicted to desire, they plunge into the foulest of hells. Self-centered, stubborn, filled with all the insolence of wealth, they go through the outward forms of worship, but their hearts are elsewhere. Clinging to the I-sense, to power, to arrogance, lust, and rage, they hate me (Krishna/Christ), denying my presence in their own and in others’ bodies. Through all the cycles of birth and death, I hurl these depraved, cruel, and hate-filled men into demonic wombs. Trapped in demonic wombs, deluded in birth after birth, they never reach me, Arjuna, but sink to the lowest state. This is the soul-destroying threefold entrance to hell: desire, anger, and greed. Every man should avoid them (if you have them, reduce them to dust). The man who refuses to enter these three gates into darkness does what is best for himself and attains the ultimate goal. But the man who rejects the scriptures, chasing his own desires, cannot attain the goal of true joy or true success. Therefore, guided by the scriptures, know what to do and not to do (spiritual ethics); first understand their injunctions, then act uprightly in the world.”
“There is a need to know how to be patient, and there is the need to know how to be serene.” – The Three Mountains, Samael Aun Weor